Meeting new friends is always an interesting concept when you’ve moved, but it gets even more tricky when your a stay at home mom (S.A.H.M).
Where is one supposed to meet new friends? We certainly don’t go bar hopping with the kids before nap time.
And randomly seeking a mom & her children out at the grocery store can seem kind of sketchy; I certainly don’t want to become that ‘desperate for friends’ weird-o!
After a conversation at dinner time with my parents and Jeremiah, it quickly turned into a very laughable bout of phrases.
You see I had exchanged phone numbers with a lady I met around my age and she also had children that were similar ages to ours.
After sharing this with everyone at the table and going about all of our events of the day, Jer suggested I ask her something we were in question about. I then realized, we didn’t exactly exchange numbers; she took mine down & said she would send hers over but hadn’t yet.
That’s when it hit me, “oh no, what if she never texts me… Maybe I freaked her out and she was just being nice by taking my number down… Did I look okay? I hope she doesn’t think I’m desperate for friends..” The thoughts rolled around & I jokingly started to speak them out loud.
I was beginning to feel like a single gal waiting for my phone to buzz and my family quickly became my awkward audience.
That’s when the conversation got uncontrollably funny.
We piled line after line on of all the creepy things I could say to this “new friend” to scare them off or ‘move too fast’!
“Once you hear from her, why don’t you tell her you’ve been anxiously waiting to hear from her all day, waiting by the phone?” One comment came. Har har har
“Tell her you couldn’t stop thinking about her and the conversation and can’t wait to hang out soon” another said.
“Better yet, make sure you let her know your not some creep but ask her where she lives” ha ha they all rolled in laughter! Even Harbor was laughing!
It’s true, if you think about it, we really do play these games…
Don’t text too much
Wait till they call you first.
Don’t sound overly desperate.
Don’t act too anxious to hang out.
Keep it cool.
Don’t ask too many personal questions.
These blind rules can all get so annoying.. So many times I just want to put it all aside and throw my thoughts out there. Get deep quick. Stop pretending that I’m not excited.
Quit tryin to seem cool when I’m really just a desperate mom for some play dates and hang out time.
On the other hand, I examine how men make friends, and it’s so un-fair.
One minute their introducing each other, and the next their slapping each other’s backs and already have a cool handshake. I’ve seen it a dozen times!
Same goes for when they have a disagreement, their quick to get it out, talk about it and move on. They don’t hold grudges for long or hang on to an offense.
They don’t call Bobby about what Billy did and ‘discuss’ it. They fix things and then are “bro’s” again!
I can learn something from that.
What kind of true, raw friendship do I actually want? What makes a friendship honorable and trustworthy? What causes friendships to last a lifetime?
And what am I really saying if I’m too scared to be myself up front?
My crazy, loud, silly, speak before I think, passionate, worry wart, counselor self …
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Makeup or not, good hair day or bad, put together or not, yoga pants or buckle jeans; I’m in! I’m ALL IN!
I’m completely committed to just being honest, putting my heart, my identity and my reputation on the line.
It’s way more exhausting to count the cost of lost friends that were never truly mine.
Rather I embrace the raw, genuine, real, un-imaginable friendships ahead.
Those are the memories we never want to let go of, the adventures we never knew were ahead, the healing that awaits us in every tender conversation and the core strengthened muscles from UNCONTROLLABLE laughter!
May God surround YOU with friends you so desperately desire, that build you up and not tear you down. That call life out of you, deep from the deep, and make you too, laugh without control!
notyourmomnextdoor 