So… Wanna go out sometime?

Meeting new friends is always an interesting concept when you’ve moved, but it gets even more tricky when your a stay at home mom (S.A.H.M).
Where is one supposed to meet new friends? We certainly don’t go bar hopping with the kids before nap time.
And randomly seeking a mom & her children out at the grocery store can seem kind of sketchy; I certainly don’t want to become that ‘desperate for friends’ weird-o!

After a conversation at dinner time with my parents and Jeremiah, it quickly turned into a very laughable bout of phrases.
You see I had exchanged phone numbers with a lady I met around my age and she also had children that were similar ages to ours.
After sharing this with everyone at the table and going about all of our events of the day, Jer suggested I ask her something we were in question about. I then realized, we didn’t exactly exchange numbers; she took mine down & said she would send hers over but hadn’t yet.
That’s when it hit me, “oh no, what if she never texts me… Maybe I freaked her out and she was just being nice by taking my number down… Did I look okay? I hope she doesn’t think I’m desperate for friends..” The thoughts rolled around & I jokingly started to speak them out loud.
I was beginning to feel like a single gal waiting for my phone to buzz and my family quickly became my awkward audience.
That’s when the conversation got uncontrollably funny.
We piled line after line on of all the creepy things I could say to this “new friend” to scare them off or ‘move too fast’!
“Once you hear from her, why don’t you tell her you’ve been anxiously waiting to hear from her all day, waiting by the phone?” One comment came. Har har har
“Tell her you couldn’t stop thinking about her and the conversation and can’t wait to hang out soon” another said.
“Better yet, make sure you let her know your not some creep but ask her where she lives” ha ha they all rolled in laughter! Even Harbor was laughing!

It’s true, if you think about it, we really do play these games…

Don’t text too much
Wait till they call you first.
Don’t sound overly desperate.
Don’t act too anxious to hang out.
Keep it cool.
Don’t ask too many personal questions.

These blind rules can all get so annoying.. So many times I just want to put it all aside and throw my thoughts out there. Get deep quick. Stop pretending that I’m not excited.
Quit tryin to seem cool when I’m really just a desperate mom for some play dates and hang out time.

On the other hand, I examine how men make friends, and it’s so un-fair.
One minute their introducing each other, and the next their slapping each other’s backs and already have a cool handshake. I’ve seen it a dozen times!
Same goes for when they have a disagreement, their quick to get it out, talk about it and move on. They don’t hold grudges for long or hang on to an offense.
They don’t call Bobby about what Billy did and ‘discuss’ it. They fix things and then are “bro’s” again!

I can learn something from that.

What kind of true, raw friendship do I actually want? What makes a friendship honorable and trustworthy? What causes friendships to last a lifetime?
And what am I really saying if I’m too scared to be myself up front?
My crazy, loud, silly, speak before I think, passionate, worry wart, counselor self …

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Makeup or not, good hair day or bad, put together or not, yoga pants or buckle jeans; I’m in! I’m ALL IN!
I’m completely committed to just being honest, putting my heart, my identity and my reputation on the line.

It’s way more exhausting to count the cost of lost friends that were never truly mine.

Rather I embrace the raw, genuine, real, un-imaginable friendships ahead.
Those are the memories we never want to let go of, the adventures we never knew were ahead, the healing that awaits us in every tender conversation and the core strengthened muscles from UNCONTROLLABLE laughter!

May God surround YOU with friends you so desperately desire, that build you up and not tear you down. That call life out of you, deep from the deep, and make you too, laugh without control!

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Oh the places Paci’s go

Dec 31 2014

Pecans & Gummy bears; it’s what I had for dinner.
Sometimes your so busy taking care of your family first, you forget to do normal things for yourself.
Like eating, going pee, putting on normal clothes or even just a bra …

Minutes before midnight on New Year’s Eve I was crawling on my bedroom floor on the hunt, with yard stick in hand, fishing for the Paci’s that found their way beneath my bed. Sometimes, as a parent you would just never imagine the things you find yourself doing … But for every surprise it makes it seem all the more adventurous & new every day!

We haven’t made many friends yet, so most of the partying going on in our house is with my parents, diaper dance parties and keeping the volume level at a safe 30 : )-

I washed both Paci’s, raced them to Daddy & our anxious little Harbie and kissed her goodnight. Ahh one down, one to go! I literally feel like I’m on a never ending marathon; Jeremiah & I even pass the invisible baton for diaper changes and who’s grabbing the diaper bag or which kid do you want?
It’s safe to say, I’m AT LEAST burning off a few extra calories. Which means I can & will & definitely earned those cookies I indulge in after I put the babes to sleep (Ahem, husband included).

A safe move

Dec 21 2014 8:01 pm (original time written before time to post was found)

Well we’ve seen a lot of road for being married only 3 years and having 2 kids. But we’ve also succumb to a lot of faith as we trekked those roads together!

As I sit here listening to my mom read us a book, 4 days before Christmas with a fire crackling in the background, I realize; it’s healing to my soul.
This is what the doctor Jesus ordered, a deeper, close & warm atmosphere with my family.
It’s these minutes that pass that make it all seem clearer.

Our hearts are melting from the cold brutal blizzard we just weathered for 3 months, and this is just what we needed.
The tender, ooey gooey, raw moments sitting around with family and letting every detail heal every tiny wound.

It’s in His presence all things are made new, freedom is found and joy is renewed. Hearts are healed.

One day I’ll be able to write out what the last few months have been to us, but for now, we are happy to be on the other side of the mountain, warm by the fire!

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Ready, Set, Scroll

An average blog, what is that? Polished blogs? Overwhelm me, I think – who the heck has this much time? And who the heck is reading all this… and not to mention doing it like making all the recipes and projects?!  Pinterest? I BARELY have any time for that, I scroll around it from time to time, mostly because a friend shared a Pin and wanted me to see it. That place should be called ‘Distraction Board’ because I’m pretty sure you get on to look for ONE or TWO ideas for a baby shower, event, party, or recipe and you end up finding a million things you want to do, taking on 20 new projects and get off still feeling un-accomplished with how much everyone else is doing in the world… and you? Still sitting on the first project you pinned.

 

Average is at the cost of your own uniqueness, wanna be like everyone else? Then stop being yourself and let everything unique and different about you fall to the wayside while you scurry to measure up to everyone else’s race that your legs weren’t built for.

 

So, this won’t be your average blog, it won’t be anything like yo mama next door – you know the one with beautiful hair & makeup ALL the time, feeds her kids all the perfect organic foods, never has spit up on her shirt, and completes all the pinterest projects that are collecting dust on your board.

I’m not put together, I’m actually still trying to find my shoes… no really, I constantly lose my shoes or forget that I left them in the car. I’m working on what my ‘average’ should be and trying to keep my eyes closed when the voices of comparison come near. Pinterest isn’t helping… let me say its an amazing tool, I do use it and like it most days… I just tend to find myself feeling less accomplished when I visit it and am overwhelmed by how perfect everyone else’s worlds seem to be, and mine.. just doesn’t quite look like that.. sometimes FAR from it.

But, I like writing, I like the idea of documenting big days for my family and others participating in that when they want to. Sometimes they won’t be big, they might be small accomplishments that I want to revel in and stay happy with for a while.